julien pacaud


Estrella Circus Girl

Life and times of a circus runaway

Truth or dare
julien pacaud
Cal/Alder/user_undefined and I are playing truth or dare on Tumblr.  I gave them a dare and asked for a truth; this is what I got: I wanna know about your woo-tendencies, bro.  Talk about one deity who scares you, one who intrigues you, and one who inspires you to acts you would never consider otherwise.  (They don't have to be three different deities.)

This is what I said:

Oh god(s).

HERE YOU GO: I was raised Christian/Jewish interfaith, and it was really important to me for a long time, but even when I was studying it I knew that it wasn’t my god I was learning to talk to.  For a long time I thought of myself an atheist, but in my heart of hearts I knew that wasn’t right either.  Sometimes I think I understood the power behind everything better when I was a teenager experimenting with a made-up version of Wicca than I ever will again.

When I am at a rock show, and the music is sounding a sympathetic frequency in my ribcage and thrumming in my every cell, and I become an instrument.  When I am working with a horse, and I ask her kindly to please follow my lead; this massive, wild creature; and she does.  When I run harder and faster and longer than I thought I could and I think my lungs will give up and crawl out my throat and my legs are burning and shaking, but then that one song comes on, and I feel like I could run another five miles.  These are times when I know something with certainty that I can’t possibly know, and the knowledge fades when the moment passes.
The god that answers all three of your requirements is Loki.

Now I have a dare: I dare you to post selfies portraying three different genders. If you don’t feel comfortable putting them on your own blog, you can send them to me, to post or just to see. The drag is the thing here. But bonus points if you post them.

So, stay tuned.


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